Satan's Lies

I have decided to pour out my heart this morning. That always brings such a feeling of relief and calm, doesn’t it? Anyway, about 3 or 4 weeks ago, I realized something that had been going on in me for a few weeks before that. I had been listening and believing lies that the devil had been putting in my mind and my heart. There was an increasingly loud voice in my mind that kept telling me things like, “you’re a terrible wife. If Tim isn’t completely happy and satisfied in all areas of your marriage, you are the only one to blame.” Or “you’re a horrible mother. Kendall can’t even crawl yet like all babies her age can. You must not know how to raise a child.” Or “you have no friends. No one wants to talk to you, invite you over, be with you at all. And no wonder—look at yourself.” Or “you are incredibly fat and ugly. You have become a complete and utter failure in life because of it too.”

And the sad thing is, I was believing all of these things unquestioningly. I have never hated myself so much or been so low. One night, as I was rocking Kendall to sleep, I heard another voice speak to me—well, shout at me really. It said, “Carrie, you’re believing lies. Satan has a strong hold in your life in this area right now. You are my child, I love you, and I made you exactly who you are, and my creation is GOOD.” I started to cry. After laying Kendall down, I confessed everything I had been feeling and hearing to Tim. And my life took a 180 starting that night. I started believing God’s truths. I admit, I still did and do find myself falling into thinking negatively about myself, but as soon as I catch myself, I pray. And God helps me to turn around again. I’m not perfect. I’m not a perfect mother, a perfect wife, or a perfect friend. I struggle with my weight and am not the most gorgeous girl around. But I’m God’s perfect creation. And through Him I can get closer to being perfect. No more lies.