Make the best

On Sunday at Third Church, Pastor Korver asked what one word would sum up each of our lives. His word was "sadness." People come to him when they're sad, are having troubles in their lives, when everything is falling apart. A word came to me immediately too. "Sick." I'm always sick. And I feel like it has been getting worse in the last year or two. Just a year or two ago, I got allergies when I never had them before. Now it's even come to the point where I can't be around cats or people with cats. Where does that leave me with my family and friends? It's not ok with me to ask them to give up their beloved pets. Why does it have to be like this? Did this one more thing really have to be added to everything else that was already going on?

There just always seems to be something, doesn't there? Everything is complicated. And there's always questions in the back of my mind that I worry about... that I try not to think about too much. When I get pregnant, can I handle it? Will my baby and I even be able to be ok? What if I get cancer sometime? I have such a limited immune system already, how would we even be able to battle cancer? I've been getting sick much more often then I used to now too. What happens if it gets to be too often and I lose my job?

This weekend I realized again just how fragile the control over my life is. We had plans to have an amazing Thanksgiving with family. Somehow between the ER visits and the doctors and the huge amounts of drugs I'm taking now, I still was able to spend some time with both families. But it wasn't the quality time I cherish so much. I couldn't do anything but sit on the couch and watch. My best laid plans were taken away, and there was nothing I could do about it. And even worse, everyone else had to change plans too.

I admit I struggle not to get angry at times. Seriously God, isn't this enough? Why does there have to be one more thing added on my life? I feel like it's more than I can handle anymore.

But isn't that what God is trying to teach His children everyday? I can't do it by myself. Life is so hard, and sometimes it seems impossible. But God is so mighty. He has given me an amazing family that has carried my through my life so far. I have parents and sisters who have fought with me through all of it, and a brother who shares the same battles. God has given me a husband who is beyond everything I have ever asked God for. Tim is everything to me, and I literally thank God for him every minute, especially in times like these. His life has become much harder in so many ways since I have entered it, but he has taken it onto his shoulders and has helped me carry my worries. And with Tim came a family that I am also so thankful for. They have all opened their lives to me and I feel not only completely accepted by them, but also loved. God has placed these amazing people in my life "for such a time as this." Thank you everyone for your love, prayers, and continual support for me.

I still don't know why things have to be so hard. Maybe God is teaching me something. Maybe there is more of me that needs to be broken down so that God can work in my life. Maybe God has plans for me that have nothing to do with the plans I have made for my future, and this is the only way to wake me up to look completely for His will in my life. I don't know. Whatever the reasons, I wish it wasn't so hard. All I'm left with is God's hand to hold me up using the people in my life. In the end really, I couldn't ask for too much more. Although being able to breathe again might be nice... :)

Excitment--good and bad

I had a very exciting day today... well, it really started last night. We went over to a friends' house to watch a movie and eat pizza. They have two cats, which is usually not a problem even though I am allergic to them. I can usually pat a cat on the head even a couple times and be perfectly fine. Last night, however, was a different story. I was fine through the first movie, but when we started the second movie, I started to cough a lot. Then I started to wheeze. So we went home. I took a shower, Tim made me tea, and slowly but surely I started to be able to breathe again well enough to go to sleep.

I woke up this morning and my chest still felt a little tight, but I went to work anyway. By the time I got there, I was wheezing uncontrollably, so I went to the ER. They had me breathe through a nebulizer for a while and gave me an inhaler and drugs for the rest of the week. I'm doing decently now, but have had to use the inhaler once today. I'm hoping that the attacks are over now and my inhaler will keep me breathing well this weekend! Sigh... not the best way to spend a Tuesday.

Tonight though I decided to make a pie (finally giving in to Tim's prodding). :) It's raspberry and smells delicious. I did cheat though and bought a crust today instead of making one since I'm still having breathing problems, but it should still be very yummy. Here are before and after pictures. As you can see, some of the deliciousness inside spilled out a bit, but there should still be plenty of deliciousness left inside to enjoy! :)

Gus!!

So Gus has gotten out of the backyard two more times since my last blog. And the fence had not been crushed down at all. So Gus is jumping over the fence. It's four feet tall! So we are now trying to come up with new ideas for how to keep him in. Dang dog. He's just too athletic for his own good. We'll keep you updated on the situation... we're hoping we don't have a Houdini dog on our hands. :)

The dogs

By looking at this cute face, you would think that Gus is a wonderfully behaved sweet dog. And he usually is... but today, he was a little more rambunctious than normal. He and Jack crushed part of the fence by our garage, and Gus was able to jump out. Surprisingly, Jack did not follow him and stayed in the yard like a good boy. Although, admittedly, this was probably more due to him being too stupid to figure out how Gus got out than to him not wanting to break the rules. Anyway, when Tim came home from work around 1:30 this afternoon, he found Gus over at the neighbor's house sniffing around (they have 2 dogs). This seemed innocent enough, but then our neighbor Amy got out of her car. She said that when she had come home and tried to get out of her car, Gus growled at her and raised all his fur. So instead of chancing a quick escape into the safety of her home, she decided to just wait in the car until someone called Gus back home. We're not sure how long she was "trapped" in her car, but at least Tim came home to save the day. Good thing we have very decent neighbors--she didn't seem angry or upset at all. Aw, Gus. He was playing his all-protective watchdog role. He just didn't realize it wasn't his yard anymore.

Jack is still the rather dull-witted, very excitable dog you have all gotten to know at one time or another. He spends most of his days wandering around the backyard, laying in the middle of the huge pile of leaves we raked up but have not gotten around to bagging yet, or barking at random things--a dog in the front yard, the mail lady, a leaf blowing past him, or nothing at all. He's still a big baby and cries about everythingl. But we love him. After all, what's not to love? ;)

And now to Maggie... again, nothing has changed. She still loves me above all else, which wouldn't be so bad if she listened to other people (namely Tim) too. But I still have hope that she will come to love Tim as much as she loves me someday. :) She sleeps in the house in her bed in the cage because her small not very furry body cannot handle the cold, but still enjoys spending most days outside with the big dogs. Also another dog that barks at everything and nothing at all.

So that is our family as we know it right now in a nutshell. As much as I love my dogs though, they don't come close to how much I love, respect, and cherish my husband. I know, a little mushy, but it's a true story. :) I love my family and couldn't ask God for much more!

My first blog

Hello all!

So many people are blogging now, I though I'd jump on the bandwagon and start my own. :)

About my life right now...

The most exciting part of my life is that many people from my family have started a weight loss contest together. I'm pretty sure I won't win very often, but either way, it keeps me accountable and pumped. The first week is almost done. I haven't exercised as often as I wanted to or eaten quite as well as I had hoped, but it's been a pretty decent start. Hopefully every week will just keep getting easier and better. And feeling better about myself is always a good thing too.

Other than that, my life is hanging out with my husband, my dogs, cooking and baking, and watching the Bears lose every week. Except for the last part, life is pretty good. :)

In the last couple days I've learned once again that not only is God in control of my life, but that is a good thing. There are things that I want, things that I pray very hard for and sometimes even expect to be given. But in the end its all up to God whether my prayers are answered. How disappointing when I don't get my way! I cry about it for a bit, but then realize that God is the only one who knows the future. He even has a better handle on my present than I do most of the time. God wants to make me happy and bless me. When I don't get what I want, I want to be able to see it as God blessing me, not doing His best to make me unhappy. Not getting my way may be the key to blessings and happiness for the future. So thank you God for always making the final decisions in my life! I will try to remember to always be thankful in the future that God is in charge of my life.

Oh, and if you're wondering where the title of my blog comes from... It's the title of my favorite cd from one of my favorite bands Nouveaux. Amazing... :)

Listen to a sample: http://www.amazon.com/gp/recsradio/radio/B00000388N/ref=pd_krex_dp_a